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I’m giving a reading at Ken Sanders Rare Books tomorrow. My new Dear Little Fish series. And I can’t find the semen poem, the gloriously hilarious poem about semen that rounds out the show perfectly. It’s crucial, part of the egg collection, but it’s lost, stripped out of my binder and off the computer that was killed by a bottle of breast milk so long ago.

So, now I’m procrastinating. I’ve looked through every journal and keep finding things I’d left behind. And I’m not preparing for the show. I really should decide what I’m going to read and, maybe, read the poems and monologues a few times. But the kids are sick and my head is in a white space because of the groping and tending to fevered noses. And now, with a slight span of time, I’m rifling though pages instead of getting my sheeaaat together.

So, I figure I’ll share a find. It’s a poem I wrote just before getting married. The challenge was to have each sentence no more than four words.

Here it is. For Love Gun:

I will say it. I do, I do. I’ll say it. His smile is beautiful. We will be beautiful. He’ll walk there. I’ll walk there.  Dad will smile radiantly. Mom will clutch fingers. We’ll stand together. Toes together. Hearts beating like birds. We’ll open our doors. Our hearts will open. Someone will sing. Cayla lilies. Pomegranates. The smell of cedar. We will cry. I can see it. First him, then me. Tears like fat babies. We’ll cry and shake. My hands will tremble. I’ll say this. I’ll say love, love. I’ll lose myself. I’ll find love’s mouth. Love, love, love. I don’t know love. This, I’ll say. But I know you. My heart bird. My singing one. I know you.

My brother will sigh. He will remember. A ringing question. Do you? And you? Our lips will weep. Yes, yes, yes. I do, I do. Yes. The air will erupt. Sounds like bells. Sounds like trilling birds. Everyone rises. Willow branches in hands. Willows creating an arch. the ground is wet. Tears everywhere. We walk under. We go up. We sit alone. Hands braid together. Eyes braid together. We’ve said it. We’ve said yes. We’ve knit ourselves.

Okay.

Now I’m going to get ready for the show.